lighting a fire under the butt

June 20, 2007 at 6:43 pm (book stuff, Book Two, celise downs, life in general, The Series)


um, hel-lo, celise? mrs author lady? youre stalling. you havent written anything in nearly three weeks. whats up with that? youre supposed to be writing everyday. at least one page. you havent picked up your quicker clicker (that would be a mechanical pencil for all you non-writers out there) in weeks.

im sure i dont have to remind you that you have a deadline coming up.

but im going to anyway. its aug 31st. 66 pages.

whatve you got so far, huh? HUH?

yeah, thats what i thought. todays the 20th, celise. in two weeks its going to be july. are ya plannin’ on cracking open that notebook again anytime soon? cuz right now, you totally suck at this daily goal thing.

now…put down the romance book before i set it on fire.

 cmon, come in. im on the case (maybe. possibly. we’ll see. check back later)


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One down, two more to go…

May 31, 2007 at 5:46 pm (A Whole Latte Trouble, book stuff, Book Two, celise downs, The Series)


she did it! im so proud of her. celise finished the first 66 pages of my story by the deadline today. i know she blogged about it because something like this would be considered blogworthy.

 the next deadline is aug 31st. i know she can do it, but send some good writing mojo her way, wouldja?

cmon, come in. im on the case.

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a little bummed

May 21, 2007 at 10:15 pm (agent search, book stuff, celise downs, The Series, TVLand)


celise got another rejection today. she really doesnt look forward to getting those self addressed stamped envelopes in the mail. the news is never been good.

 the good news is that another agency requested to see the full MS.

 the bad news is that she really didnt want to send it out knowing it needs to be revised. shes working on it. Really, she is. she just needs one agent to say, “yeah, okay, it might need some work. but we can deal with that.” i mean, c’mon. its a great story. im a great story. im not vain. Really. just tootin’ my horn. And Celises.

the even badder news? its the season finale of “Heroes” tonight. One of her favorite shows.


yeah. it’s a Monday.

c’mon, come in. im on the case.

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Oh. Snap.

May 6, 2007 at 12:00 pm (A Whole Latte Trouble, book stuff, Book Two, celise downs, The Series)


So today, I found out what my next assignment is going to be and, needless to say, I’m not diggin’ it. This is kinda how the conversation went down–after the little verbal bomb she dropped–with Celise:

Me: “Are you out of your MIND?”

Celise: “No, I–”

Me: ” I can’t believe you would do this.”

Celise: “Draven, I–”

Me: “You’re crazy. Absolutely not.”

Celise: “Not crazy. Just creative.”

Me: “Are you trying to get me fired? Why don’t you just throw me under a bus and kill me right now?”

Celise: “Okay, now you’re just being dramatic. You’ll do just fine, Dray. Really.”

Me: “Have you told everyone about it?”

Celise: “Well, kinda sorta.”

Me (crossing my arms over my chest, tapping my foot and frowning fiercely): “What do you mean by ‘kinda sorta’?”
Celise: “Well, I kinda sorta posted something on my blog…”

Me (racing over to my laptop and frantically bringing up her blog, then scrolling down because referencing posts on Blogger really sucks): “My ‘favorite hangout’? That’s putting it mildly, don’t you think? I practically have a cot in the back room! Oh, and the ‘drugs, guns, and rock’n’roll’? So not funny.”

Celise: “But what about that last part I wrote. I was—”

Me: “Just trying to butter me up.”

Celise: “Draven–”

Me: “I’m not doing it.”

Celise: “Yes, you are.”

Me: “I refuse.”

Celise: “You can’t.”

Me: “I’m not doing it. No way, no how.”

Celise: “Yes. You are.”

Me: “Am not.”

Celise: “Are too.”

Me: “Am not.”

Celise: “Are too.”

Me (putting my hands over my ears and closing my eyes): “Amnotamnotamnot. I can’t hear you, I can’t hear youuuuu….”

Celise (sighing in disgust. Probably. I’m not sure because I can’t hear or see her at this point): “Draven, you’re being unreasonable.”

Me: “Unreasonable. Unreasonable? Is it unreasonable of me to not want to—”

Celise (holding up a hand like a stop sign. Or to bitchslap me into next week): “Don’t. Say it.”

Me (big, gusty, irritated sigh. And an eyeroll): “Fine. I won’t. You practically gave it away in that post anyway.

Celise (totally fed up with me by now, I’m sure. Positively sure): “Go to your room.”

Me: “You can’t send me to my room. But I’ll do it anyway because I’m done talking to you.” [I can’t even slam the door because there is no door. Just a really cool beaded curtain]

Celise: “The writing has been going great, by the way. In case you care.”

Me: “Whatever.”

C’mon, come in. I’m on the case. Whether I like it or not.

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Taking it on the chin

April 29, 2007 at 12:47 pm (A Royale Pain, agent search, Book One, book stuff, Book Two, celise downs, GQ, Party Gurl, The Company, The Series)


so celise received Rejection #37 yesterday. this was from an agent that requested, like, the first 50 pages or something. the first time. and then she requested the full manuscript!


they passed. it’s not anything she hasn’t heard before, y’know?

 “…in many sections, the level of description went too far to keep the novel moving along at the right speed…”

for all you agents out there, she’s working on it. really. but there were some good points, too. she liked me. she really liked me. and she thought Party Gurl and GQ were hysterical. so true. my friends are total riots. but she also thinks celise is a great writer (i do, too. i mean, she wrote about me, didn’t she?) and would be happy to take a second look when it’s been revised. as well as other projects.

like I said, she’s working on it. she knows what has to be done and getting reminder letters about it is probably like tap dancing on a nerve.

in May, she’s going to start writing Book Two. first draft only, of course, and she’s determined to finish it by 11/01. i’ll keep you posted on how she’s doing. its going to be a little difficult for her because she’s not used to deadlines, but she’s going to try real hard. and i’ll help her by kicking her in the boo-tay when she starts slackin’.

ive been so ready for my next assignment to start. i think i did pretty well my first time out, even when i had some unexpected–and unwanted, at first–help. i got to be pampered at a spa for almost a whole day. a high-class spa that famous people visit. they were having some problems, but as you know, i was on the case and wouldnt you know it? problems be-gone.

so, assignment #2. all celise will tell me is that it has something to do with a coffee shop. I don’t particularly like coffee. i prefer tea. chai tea if you wanna get specific. Either way, this should be interesting. hell, i work for The Company. ‘Uninteresting’ is not in their vocabulary.

(rubbing my hands together with glee). im ready, Ms. Author Lady. bring it.

cmon, come in. im on the case.

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Hello, my name is…

April 28, 2007 at 8:12 pm (A Royale Pain, Book One, celise downs, The Company, The Series)


hey. My name name’s DA, im  16-yrs-old. And im a spy. yeah, okay, not really. im more of a snitch. i mean, i dont travel to exotic places, i dont wear disguises, i dont handle or carry weapons (unless you count my Canon AE1), and i dont work for a top secret agency. well, three out of four isnt bad. let me explain.

you see, i was abandoned by my biological parents as a baby and i’ve spent all my life in the foster care system. i graduated from high school at the age of 13 (Yay for homeschooling). At 15, i ended up with the Foster Couple From Hell (hereafter referred to as FCFH). i discovered their dirty little secret–the bastards–so i called them out to the local authorities. so, lucky me, when i decided to play tattletale, an agency with three letters (hereafter referred to as The Company) had been investigating the FCFH for years. so, being the good citizen that i am, i decided to help them out. The Company, that is. i cashed in my Get Out of Hell Free card. three months later, i got a new name, a new life…and a paying gig as an informant for The Company.

sooooo, thats about it. thats me in a nutshell. cant tell my friends what i do, so this is my venting place about the world at large. my life in particular.

Cmon on, come in. im on the case.


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